Last April, Bebe Rexha revealed to her Twitter followers that she had been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Now, she’s opening up about the illness for a March Self magazine cover story, in hopes of helping others who are going through the same thing.
The “Meant to Be” singer tells Self that before she was diagnosed, she knew there was something wrong, but she didn’t know what. In addition to experiencing depression, she says, “I would get super hyper, and I would text everybody, and I’d just get sloppy. I couldn’t control my emotions, and I was always super anxious, and couldn’t sit still.”
At time, she admits, her mood swings could be dangerous.
“It made me feel just weird feelings, weird emotions, weird thoughts all the time. Not normal thoughts,” she tells me. “I’d be in the passenger seat of the car and I would want to open the door and jump out and just get…squashed. Which is terrible.”
But as the child of immigrant parents, Bebe says actually confronting her illness was difficult.
“Growing up, when I had anxiety and depression, they’d be like, ‘Just get over it. It’s all in your head. Take a walk,’” she tells Self. “For my parents, it was hard because they felt like it was a sense of failure. But it’s not their failure at all; it’s just an illness.”
Finally, she sought help, and through medication and therapy, she’s doing much better.
“I felt like me opening up to my fans was me finally saying, ‘I’m not going to be imprisoned by this,’” she said. “And maybe it’ll make somebody not feel imprisoned, in that moment, if they feel like they’re going through a rough time. That’s why I decided to really open up and to free myself from that.”
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